Thank you for sharing this tender grief. It is important for those of us who have not had this experience to hear how it is. What is helpful for others to say and do, or not say and not do on Mothers and Fathers day?
That's a great question, though I don't think there's a good answer. Certainly people shouldn't temper their happiness with their own mothers or families because others have had sorrow. I've seen a lot of people start including those who aren't mothers, either by choice or infertility, along with those who have lost children, in their Mother's day postings on Facebook. Having seen friends who have chosen not to have children feel left out on Mother's day, that's probably the best thing one can do - remember those who may feel pain on these days, and include them when you can.